What’s at the center of your self-care routine?

My very first therapist asked me this question back in 2015 and I could not answer it. I couldn’t bring myself to mention lighting candles, getting massages, taking bubble baths, meditation or yoga.

I simply remembered saying “i don’t know”.

I’m glad she helped me unpack that statement because it led me to learn how much my mental and emotional well-being was impacting so many other areas in my life.

Me being and feeling all over the place during that time of my life was hard. Not knowing how to explain what I was thinking or how to describe what I was feeling took a toll. There was no way I could confidently define what self-care looked, felt, or sounded like.

In that season, my therapist helped me realize that self-care FOR ME was getting a hold of my mental and emotional well-being. It was understanding how previous experiences impacted me. It was more than just taking a day off from work, setting boundaries, or going on cute vacations. It was self-discovery, self-understanding, and learning self-love. It was prioritizing my mental and emotional health above all else. Focusing on these things allowed me to be able to identify what kinds of task or activities went with this.

A lot of you reach out often asking how you can practice self-care or love yourselves better and I truly believe it’s important to get to know who you’re trying to love. 

Here are a few questions I’ve had to ask myself:

• Who are you? 
• What do you think you need? 
• Why do you think you need it?

I could keep going, but I’ll stop here and save the rest for later. 

All in all, I hope you’re taking the time to really figure out what self-care means for YOU outside of what society tells you what it should be or look like.